It’s the Dollar Store’s fault, really.
I went to get party favors for Johnny’s 7th birthday party but only had $19 left in the budget and still needed a cake. That was a disaster. If it makes you feel better, the store messed up on the cake. I was so frazzled I didn’t think about the gifts hard enough. You can blame the bakery, really.
I didn’t even consider what your kid would do with that kazoo. Within two-minutes I was ready to strangle him so I can only imagine what the last week has been like for you. It’s God’s fault for giving us hearing, really.
Ten kids were coming to the party; what was I supposed to do! My choices for ten matching little gifts were kazoos or army men with plastic parachutes. You know Johnny; he’s too ‘sensitive’ for army stuff. And I couldn’t get five boy things and five girl things in this day and age – It’s the liberal sympathizers fault for making us all equal, really.
I promise to sneak in and steal the kazoo back if you want. You can blame the tooth fairy or something.
If not, I have enclosed a free copy of a book that will really improve your situation.
Again, I’m sorry.
Now it's your turn to write a fake apology for GIVING A KAZOO AS A PARTY FAVOR TO YOUR ADD-RIDDLED KID . . .
To: Mrs. Smith
ReplyDeletec/o Green Acres Mental Health Facility
Dear Barbara,
I DO apologize for the whole kazoo business. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but with what has happened since... well, obviously I'm rethinking.
I hope with the expert psychiatric care you're receiving there at Green Acres, you'll learn to forgive me and forget your threats to me, especially the ones about where you wanted to stick my $%*# kazoo. And perhaps little Herbert can channel this newfound kazoo obsession into a brilliant musical career! (He's certainly getting in enough practice...)
With deepest regret,
Billy's Mommy
I know I should apologize-that would be the polite thing to do, but truthfully, this was just pay back. Anytime you'd like to take back this push around popcorn popper you got my daughter last Christmas, I'll take that Kazoo off your hands. Until then, enjoy!
ReplyDeleteRamona - That's awesome!!!
ReplyDelete