It’s the Dollar Store’s fault, really.
I went to get party favors for Johnny’s 7th birthday party but only had $19 left in the budget and still needed a cake. That was a disaster. If it makes you feel better, the store messed up on the cake. I was so frazzled I didn’t think about the gifts hard enough. You can blame the bakery, really.
I didn’t even consider what your kid would do with that kazoo. Within two-minutes I was ready to strangle him so I can only imagine what the last week has been like for you. It’s God’s fault for giving us hearing, really.
Ten kids were coming to the party; what was I supposed to do! My choices for ten matching little gifts were kazoos or army men with plastic parachutes. You know Johnny; he’s too ‘sensitive’ for army stuff. And I couldn’t get five boy things and five girl things in this day and age – It’s the liberal sympathizers fault for making us all equal, really.
I promise to sneak in and steal the kazoo back if you want. You can blame the tooth fairy or something.
If not, I have enclosed a free copy of a book that will really improve your situation.
Again, I’m sorry.
Now it's your turn to write a fake apology for GIVING A KAZOO AS A PARTY FAVOR TO YOUR ADD-RIDDLED KID . . .
